our modern world
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Wednesday, June 27, 2007
and how much do you like the silence? the darkness that envelopes us each time? the secrecy?
i don't usually make straightforward blog entries, but today calls for one. i woke up this morning banking only 10 hours of sleep the last 3 days and a half. the house has been a ghost town. we come in and out withour ever speaking a word. and the feelings have been heavier than usual. there are no words, no conversations, nothing. we enter our rooms, come out for the occasional dinner or when we have to leave the house. that has been the routine. it sucks, i know. how much is it affecting me? i don't know, yet.
anyway, back to waking up. i just had a nightmare. two nightmares actually. and its been like the rest that i have been telling people recently. i went to school frowning. i was parking frowning. i was walking frowning. and gabriel marcel just made my day worse. Fuck. yeah, i find it appropriate to curse now, that's how bad my mood is right now. i left school, still angry. stll very angry. the circumstances presented to me did not help at ALL. ECO111's blasted 8 page single spaced paper did not help. LS100's whole period presentation did not help. LS100's novel and book report did not help. ACC101's maurice lim's fucking boredom did not help. HI165's ultimate boring rizal biography movie did not help. PH101's gabriel macel's fever never helped. TH131's markus locker's diet coke could go to hell.
i think im overreacting right now. and it's all getting to my head. and yeah, i think i am cooling down. a bit.
just two hours ago, i was doing aerobics. could you imagine. me, aerobics, me, dancing. damn, that's awful.
there. i think im happier now.
whew.
and so you ask me, do you like the secrecy, the darkness, the silence? yes, i do. i really really do.
"there is a wall that ruuuns right through me"- kreuzberg, bloc party
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