our modern world
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Wednesday, June 14, 2006
okay, lets take another crack at it.
and when you and i saw the star, i... and then none. it depresses me to think that iconic symbols such as stars fall down sometimes or how they fade without remorse. i look at the sky, seeing countless, sometimes, none. i'm actually lucky if i find one glowing differently. once, i saw a star, it twinkled as bright as a supernova. all i did was gaze at it, looking endlessly, pinning my eyes to its crystal white glow. only to find out it had died millions of years ago. the light of stars reach us after a million or billion years since the light travels through space in lightyears. maybe, from the beginning i knew that would happen. but in that time, i did not. i knew not of how that star twinkled nor did i know it had already died. it was good while it lasted.
stop crying your heart out.
now i know.
i stared blankly everytime we passed through someting colorful. i could hear cars beeping around me. but that didn't matter. i was now lost in my own space, trying to figure out what had happened in my constellation. a constellation that had just imploded. it imploded not beacause stars started to fade away, but because its onlookers no longer cared much for the twinkling bodies. but mainly, i think because of me. it sounds weird, but whenever i think about it, how does one destroy a constellation? a single man? no way.but weirder things have happened. pictures of memories are torn. torn apart right in the middle where the heart lies. it is faded. enough to say that it never happened. and just like teh constellation, they were all ready to be forgotten. no, erased. forgotten would still mean being there but not minded, erased is more appropriate. i think thats what happened. i was on the verge of erasing the thought of my blasted constellation when i decide to yank back. and i did. i did. i did.
i can pull my hair off right now and still may not understand why. why? i don't even know. please hold my hand.
"there is a wall that ruuuns right through me"- kreuzberg, bloc party
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