our modern world
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Tuesday, May 16, 2006
and then maybe.
there are things that change and don't while most of them do. most things, sadly so or not, change. and from where i stand, change is always just a nose(?) away. admist the vast constellation that i would want to consider my own, i must give way to others who must wish to view it. its not yet too cramped up, but i think it will be. but i shouldn't think about that now. no, not now. i would like to sometimes believe that i could somehow hold the barrier which so oftens appears before me, mostly in the middle of the night or at noon. the barrier, i feel, an evervescent proof that humanity is indeed moving on while leaving most of us behind. leaving us behind. i could see the sky opening up, a path transfiguring in the middle, it seems rubbish from afar, but i think, im near. no, you're not. while it saddens me, of course, that this barrier is another cause of why humans may never or possibly, a main influence why, agree.
the things that change around me are pleasing. yes, it makes me realize that, maybe its worth sharing my constellation to others. it's actually securing, the way you get to view stars with someone. there, a star, amongst the clouds or smog. whichever. but still, it's a star. yeah it is. it's beautiful. i know. but then i give off something whcih to me is sentimental. i do take the risk of it getting scratched, battered, or even shattered. that's the price to pay i guess when allowing change to actually seep into you, consuming slowly, what you thought was rock-strong all through these years. but as i said, then again, maybe not.
whenever i look out the window, i never fail to always allot time to stare at the trees. trees, i think are monuments of time, change and age. while these three actually coexist in a world where disparity and speed apply, trees aptly remain at their own space, defying no one. so i guess, that's what always caught me, a tree's father-like God-like aura. usually i find people under the shade of trees and of course i also can't help but look at them the people. either its a couple or not. the two universal categories of humans lie in who they're with, it doesn't matter the sex, but rather, the manner. it's the manner of the people that fascinate me, too. at some points, i wonder whether these people actually know that they're in the presence of something that allowed only minimal change in their lives, while they, allowing much gargantuan(?) changes. if this is so, a tree is able to view abrupt change from near, as humans always seem to be, changing as always. the trees do remain stable, defying no one, until they're cut down. (which happens most of the time by the way)
doubting leads nothing more but to more abrupt changes, sometimes ending up into even greater stalks of confusion, dellusion and illusion. but then again, it could not. but change is a natural course of action that time goes through to unify the disparity and control the speed.
and then maybe, change could just simply be, me telling you not to believe in me, or vice versa. but that made no sense at all.
"there is a wall that ruuuns right through me"- kreuzberg, bloc party
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